Lately

Where to begin...

David and I ... will never be more than email friends if that... I will never go out there again.

D and I ... well, I've finally got him completely out of my mind as well. In talking, I asked if things were ever going to change... he said probably not. FINALLY, the truth from his mouth... Such a weight feels as if its been lifted.

I've started receiving voluntary child support from him. $100 every payday ($200/month) better than what I was getting.

Time to focus on Me and the boys and make us the priority... No waiting around for anyone, no being afraid of saying the right or wrong thing, nothing... when we want to go somewhere, we're not going to have to worry if D is going to stop by. If he comes to see the boys, fine, if we're here, he can see them, if we're not, oh well.

Told him that if he wants to see the boys, call, if they aren't busy, they are more than welcome to go over. He says, just have them call me when they want to come over. I told him they always call, he can pick up the phone from time to time as well.

I got a little aggravated with him the last time we spoke. Austin is taking Accelerated Courses in school, one if I pay $300 he gets 5 college credits for. D asked me 'why is he taking such hard courses? why isn't he taking what normal high school kids are taking' My response was 'because he's smart' Well he said, what will he do when he gets to college. He shouldnt be taking such hard stuff now. I said ... when he gets to college, he'll take HARDER courses and he'll become something in life. He working in a factory.... He'll be doing WHAT HE WANTS!! And as far as the courses that 'everyone else takes in high school' HE ALREADY KNOWS THE STUFF, WHY SKATE THRU!! OMG I was livid. Austin has a plan and goals. He's making every effort to achieve these and I'm very proud of him for taking the steps to become the man he wants to be. He's very determined ... and I know in my heart, he's going to get everything out of life that he wants.

Luke, my sweet sweet talker of a boy is dong pretty good in school as well. He's just as sharp as his older brother, but doesn't have the drive and determination yet that Austin did at this age. Two different boys I know, but so alike in so many ways.

Luke and I talked about school, he's gotten in trouble a few times for talking in class and its only been 2 full weeks of back to school. He knows mouth shut ears open so he can learn. He tried telling me he couldn't learn how to spell the word 'BECAUSE' when I told him mouth shut ears open and listen to what I'm telling him so he can learn to spell this, he sat back and said to me after he SPELLED it within a few minutes, he says 'Mom, that really worked, you are a good speller' LOVE LOVE LOVE that little talker boy.

More later.... work calls.