Its not you, its me...
I ONLY WANT TO BE HAPPY.... I thought I was finding happy (or had even found happy) not feeling it today.
I didn't go out and buy wedding rings, havent even considered wedding ... I still want to get to know him... I don't want to jump into bed ... not till its right ... yes, we've been there before, but I don't want to go there again till we're both ready to be just us.
I don't get it... I'm not showing up without him knowing first. (and I've only been out there 3 times total) I'm not showing up at his church, even though he says he's watched for me to come. Yes, I might call to much, but I just want to get to know him again, I like to talk, I'm here all day every day without anyone to talk to... no people interaction... only email/instant message and some phone..... talking to Mom isn't the same as with friends.
I don't know... I feel like damaged goods... I feel pushed away ...
I told him I was sorry and that I'd back off... he said "NO,I love to hear from you, its not you, its me".... WTF does that mean
(he did mention the other day that his phone isn't working properly, IDK is that it??)
Part of me says run away... far away... and don't look back to any of them... and the other part says that this is all part of the 'new' the 'uncomfortable' relationship that I've been avoiding... the "unsafe"
posted by hyka's mess @ 1:49 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
First, take a deep breath. Try not to overanalyze the situation. (SO much easier for me to say, right??) No need to run far away. Just remember, YOU wanted things slow. So if he's backing up a bit,that's ok. This is part of getting to know (or re-know) a person. Learning each others boundaries is a challenge.
IDK Katie.... really feeling like I'm destined to be single forever.
I told him to let me know when he wanted to talk again, the balls in his court. So ... if its a backing up a bit thing, learning boundries, I'll give him his space. Lord knows this is nothing new... giving space. **sigh**
and you are right... don't overanalyze. dont' read between the lines.... Thanks Katie... I'll try. =)
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