Going to CA!!!!

I wish I could say YAY, I'm going to CA .... but I can't ... I'm kinda bummed ... I love the idea of seeing a new area, could be lots of picture taking possiblibies .... I'm suposed to go to CA in late October for work. I don't want to go alone though ... I want to see things when I get off work, I want to enjoy it with someone special. Its a business trip, but still ...

I'm on vacation next week. My vacation plans right now consist of a Dr appt on Monday (woo hoo ... shed em and spread um ... yay!) **note the sarcastic tone** And Friday, one of my best friends is marrying her High School Sweetheart after 20+ years ... they've talked on and off for all these years and finally decided they needed to be together. I'm so happy for her. She's so happy with him. Brigitte & Alan 10/13/2006 will finally be united in marriage.

Its been a month since I started talking to my fireman friend again. 9/8/2006 was the first time we talked, really talked in 20 years. Everytime I talk to him, I smile .... He hasn't changed a bit ... ok, maybe a little, but he's still the man I fell in love with all those years ago ... I'm happy he's back in my life ... He's a good friend to have, he likes my kids and my kids like him. I enjoy our conversations ... no matter if they are about the past, the present or the future, about his work, my work, whatever ... its just so nice to talk to him.

Last Friday night I did go out ... took the boys with me and had dinner with my friend Laura. She's doing good, but still missing Kevin. (Kevin passed away 19 months ago) They were married 27 years and were soooooo good together. They were definately made for each other. Kevin put Laura on a pedastil ... you could feel the love between the two of them. You could see the love.

I was totally pissed at Dennis for not taking the time out of his hunting schedule for the boys ... maybe I was wrong to be mad at him for that. He does like his hunting, and I can understand that ... completely, however what I don't understand is how he can sit there at the bowling alley and not say a word to Luke or myself unless I take Luke over to him. then and only then will he talk to him. I don't get that. Does it bother me that he won't talk to me or look my direction ... yeah, a little. But I'm not going to let that get me down. I deserve more ....

I wish I could yell to the world .... "See this guy ... he makes me happy!" I'm still looking for "this guy" I'm not giving up hope... I know he's out there somewhere ... just waiting to find me ...