Life ....

We had lunch today. It was really nice .... he called just before I left and had me meet him somewhere closer and we'd drive to lunch together since I'm not real familiar with this area. Just call me Geographically challenged .... (insert other terms as needed and or required). Anyway, we kept lunch to the hour just as required by my job ... We met at QT and drove over to Penn Station. We had Philly Cheesesteak Subs & Lemonaid! YUM! They were so good! I was good, I didn't order fries for me. The hour was over before we knew it ... He said we'd have lunch again one day.

We didn't invite our mutal friend this time. We felt we needed to talk things out alone. With her there, we'd never get to touch on any subject that we felt needed resolved. We talked for a long time over the weekend ... a LONG time ... I think we worked thru more this weekend than the entire time we dated. Its amazing how 20 years later, though we look a little different (ok, a lot different in my case, his belly was the only thing different on him) but our attitude is so much better. We've both grown up. Its nice.

Parents mean well when they step foot into our relationships as young adults. Mom didn't want me married right out of high school, I think she was afraid I'd struggle like she did. Since Jimmy was in the Army and my real dad was in the Army. She went to see my real dad and they got married... I think she was deathly afraid that when I went to see Jimmy in WA that summer that I'd come home married to him or even worse not come home. The summer I went to see him was the summer we split up.

I called my Mom today to tell her that I've been talking to Jimmy, the only thing she could say or did say rather was "thats nice" I don't know how to take that. Right now, Jimmy and I are friends, does he love me? yes. Same as before? possibly Will I be the reason things don't work in his current situation, his marriage? ABSOLUTELY NOT. We're not going down that path.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't have a clue what the future has in store for me. What I do know is that I'm enjoying the moment, enjoying reliving the past (and luck has it, that when he doesn't remember something right or the way I want him to, I just put my spin on it.... ) shhhh dont' tell ... He wants to know me, he wants to learn about the last 20 years ... I gave him the link to here, theres lots of crap here that will fill him in on most of it.

Life is kinda funny
it takes a turn
at an unexpected place
and takes you back
to a familiar face

The boy who once held you
who once made you sigh
He was your first true love
in everyones eyes

Turned into a Man
not the typical kind
Did he know all these years
he's been on my mind

He looked for me high
He looked for me low
Little did he know
I was right under his nose

Same towns and same schools
We crossed paths many times
but not near enough
to fix our hearts and our minds

He gave up all hope
He threw in the towel
tried giving his heart
to another nice gal

We have this strong bond
No others could break
Can you tell me one thing
Is this really fate?

I can't be the one
I won't do it to you too
Remember, she's the one
You said 'I do' to.

I'll still always love you
nothing'll ever change that
Just work on whats right
and know that I care.

If you end up single
some where down the road
come look me up
I won't be a toad ;)

Until that time comes
we will remain friends
friends without perks
I'm not sinning again